Short, Random Stories of Middle-EarthArda
by Valiril Erquentien
Summary: Here you shall find random stories/songs/poems of sorts that I thought up. Hopefully you can laugh until your helm falls over your eyes or your fellow friend Tolkien Fan shoots you with a bow. Or relieve you of boredom. There are some OCs in here and some shameless self inserts. Enjoy and I didn't warn you of some dangers. Find them out yourself, I need to do my homework.


Welcome, welcome to the first instalment of *deep breath* 'Short, Random Stories of Middle-Earth/Arda'!

*Stage applause*

I love sound effects on the remote thing. It's like Sam's on ICarly!

Back on track, I will let my muses complain at the end. This was inspired by a picture my friend Sophie and I found during English. Here's the link: file:/localhost/Users/learners/Movies/Happiness/tu mblr_mgx2sdlBbE1s2s9meo1_1280% . JUst copy the link into your browser space thing.

Eruva: In my defence, I finished my work. Sophie was just naughty.

Sophie: WHAT?

Eruva:*ducks frying pan* Enjoy the story! OW! SOHPIE YOU BALROG!

* * *

"Then they ran away and _never _came back!" The golden haired elf laughed, pouring another bottle of wine into a glass.

"_Ada…_" Legolas said tiredly.

"I remember a time when I 'ad cut an Elf's braid off!" Glóin roared with laughter.

"Father!" Gimli exclaimed.

The fathers however, did not heed their warning looks (or tones) and continued to drink themselves silly, laughing drunkenly. Legolas placed his forehead on the wall, and proceeded to smack himself silly. Gimli pinched the bridge of his nose, mimicking Lord Elrond's favorite movement.

"You know, you aren't that bad for an Dwarf. You aren't as bad who I stole the axe from when I was only a hundred years of age." King Thranduil said willfully.

"Aye, I raise a mug 'o ale." Glóin raised his mug of ale.

* * *

"If it is possible, lad I think your father's gone and 'ad too much." Gimli murmured to Legolas from where they were standing behind the two drunks.

"I've always taught him to hate and despise your race! Where did I go wrong?" Thranduil wailed, clutching a glass in one ringed hand, yet another Dorwinion bottle in his _other _ringed hand. Tears were running down his pale cheeks as he looked to the sky as if asking the Valar.

"I agree." Legolas removed his head from the wall, a slightly yellow patch on his forehead.

* * *

_Pause._

* * *

(In Vailnor)

"You do realize, that is an ironic situation." Varda murmured amusedly to Mandos.

"Indeed." He agreed.

"Here is one of my creations, sitting-" Aulë began.

"With an Eldar-" Vairë continued.

"Complaining about their sons' friendship-" Ulmo added.

"When they're clearly forming one." Manwë concluded.

"Very true, Varda." Yavanna said, tossing her a silver coin. Varda caught it with a grin.

"Did you have anything to doing with this, my beloved?" Mandos asked Vairë with a questioning tone.

"Maybe. Pass the popcorn Nessa!" She called to The Dancer, who leant over Oromë and gave the round red bowl to The Weaver.

"This is a comic show." Nienna smiled, not crying for once.

* * *

_Play._

* * *

"My ancestors must be pulling at their own beards in their graves!" Glóin said with shock. Legolas raised an eyebrow. "I mean, our little girls are manlier then your men!"

Gimli harrumphed, crossing his arms

"Fathers." He grumbled.

"Fathers." Arwen stated as she walked to them, offering Legolas a glass of wine, and Gimli a mug of ale. They were expertly balanced on a tray, another wine cup in her right hand.

Legolas and Gimli took the offered drinks.

"I swear they are too protective." Arwen sighed.

"Or they tell you not to do what they did?" Gimli offered.

"Then few years later they encourage doing it. Then get mad at you for making friends." Legolas said darkly as he raised the rim of the wine glass to his lips.

In unison, the three rolled their eyes in agreement and downed the alcohol.

* * *

Watch out for the next chapter. I'm in it!

Eruva: I take my leave. *Pulls up Lothlórien cloak hood and walks out of room, picking up her Elven sword as she goes.* I need to get to the next chapter which is serious.

Thranduil: And there she goes, making fun of us infront of readers.

Gloín: Durin's bread! I should have never agreed to this!

Gimli: *Shrugs* You did get _free _ale, Dad.

Legolas: Eruva told you not to drink too much. You should have heeded her advice and _not _got the, I quote: 'Bloodly headache feels like orcs pounding on the inside of my skull.

Thranduil: *Gives angry look at Legolas*

Legolas: Ada, that's wasted on me.


End file.
